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At this historic Spanish mission in San Antonio, a display shows a timeline of important events in Texan history. I spent a moment puzzling over the Texans’ pride in their victory securing independence from Mexico in 1836, but their indifference at donating their country to the United States ten years later. As a reference point, the timeline helpfully includes the patenting of barbed wire (1874 by Joseph F. Glidden). Now it all makes sense!

Another highlight in San Antonio is the Riverwalk, a paved riverside walkway with bars and restaurants, set a level below the rest of the city. It looks a bit like the rapids at Center Parcs.

A local friend very kindly drove me to a BBQ Diner. It turns out that what we think of as a barbecue is really just a grill; BBQ food just needs to have BBQ sauce on it to qualify as BBQ. A bit too much emphasis on the condiments there, I thought (and told them). You don’t go to a Ketchup Diner to eat a burger, do you?

As documented in detail to the true proponents of this particular London fashion, wearing my collar up has caused some confusion amongst the locals. No small number have offered to “fix my collar”, and a hotel owner asked if I was in the military. One passer-by wondered if I was raised in a ditch (the proverbial barn of course being pretty much standard here, anyway).

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“Good luck with the cancer!” I called back to James ‘Redman’ Warren the war veteran I met on Congress Avenue in Austin. He’d just sold me a CD of his country singing. It never worked, and with his lung problems was never going to be great. But Austin is world-famous for its music scene and I was going to get stuck in!

Now I’m not renowned for my love of music, but with all the time in the world, and nothing else to do on the planet, I thought I’d better give it a try. In fact, I’ve rarely been to music performances aside from the times the odd sister or friend has insisted I go.

I suppose the alternative might have been to go to a bar on my own (on this rare occasion, the hostel was quiet and peopled only by quiet Texans). I’ve never done that - in contrast to my good friend James Hawes who only goes to bars solo, and is rumoured to have never been in a pub with anyone else. So at least with a live music performance I could sit in the corner and pretend to like it.

The internet had two main venue recommendations: Antones in Downtown; and Cactus Cafe at the University - a small venue which has launched the careers of many budding artists since 1979. Antones was revealed to be sold out, after a little investigation. Kristin Hersh was playing at the Cactus Cafe, and you couldn’t buy tickets in advance - just queue for hours with other true music fans. Works for me!

Except I needed to pretend I knew what I was talking about in terms of music. I don’t want to be exposed as an outsider. I thought the best bet was to invent some band names and when no-one had heard of them, just shrug it off as being part of a different culture. Would they believe that we just don’t have Michael Jackson, Bruce Springsteen, and anyone else in the UK - and that’s why I don’t know anything about them?

In the queue I meet Ryan: “This is like the 15th time I’ve seen Kristen. I first saw her when she was touring with REM in 1988, and they were even unknown then! How about you?”

“To be honest, I don’t really know who she is.”

“What are you doing here then?”

“Oh, I was just told she was quite good.”

“Wow! You are like the biggest music fan ever! Just trying something new, just because of some recommendation! That’s amazing.”

I was in!

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I chose to come to Texas partly because Southerners are supposed to be a bit different. I’d already been warned though, that in the cities at least, they no longer wear cowboy hats and guns.

There’s one chap staying at this hostel and, like me, is enjoying the free wireless internet they provide. He says he’s from West Texas.

“Oh! Exploring your own state?” It has been said that Texans are very insular and don’t like to leave Texas - after all the Lone Star State is the biggest and best at everything. Fair enough.

“Not really,” he says. “I stay here for a couple of weeks every month, sort of on business.”

OK, travelling to see clients? No, apparently he’s a web designer but doesn’t have a very good internet connection at home. So he travels five hours for a two-week business trip just to use a hostel’s free internet. I’m not complaining, but I did suggest he upgrade his connection at home. “I know - I should,” he agrees.

I’ll be off tomorrow for yet another university tour! Hooray! I travelled several thousand miles to see it even though there are plenty back home.

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Between flights taking us from Las Vegas to Cancun via Houston, we presumed we would meet a rapturous reception in Texas for our nine hour wait. Instead, they’d pretty much closed the airport.

Eventually, we found  some nicely cushioned pews in the multi-faith chapel. It seemed a little disrespectful at first, but then I thought that if a Christian (say) can put up with people worshipping a Muslim god in the same room, then I’m sure they can cope with a bit of sleep.

Satisfied that the whole concept of a multi-faith chapel is flawed I shut my eyes, ready to claim “It’s an ecumenical matter” to any security guard who should question my reasoning.

Stuffed in a bag, the airport’s loo paper made an unexpected star as a pillow.

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