abode acrobat . net

Staying on a small but busy island off the east coast of Thailand, I was rudely awoken at night by a terrible din. I ventured outside in my pyjamas only to find myself in the midst of the world-renowned Full Moon Party on Ko Pha Ngan! Well, never one to miss a party, I went down to the beach to catch the fun.

In the “World Party Guide”, a book given to me by a colleague as I left work, the Full Moon Party lists in the top ten international festivals, so with a lot of time in Thailand I thought I ought to try it out. I guess I was turning a blind eye to the fact that featuring higher in the chart were Glastonbury and the Notting Hill Carnival, two events in the UK that I have spent my youth studiously avoiding - largely through an aversion to mud, noise, and weirdoes.

To this end - and my perpetual quest for quality acquaintance is well publicised - I have been associating myself only with ravers who have also chosen heavy-duty footwear as they brave the bottle-filled beach. Still, I tried my best to join in.

As I sat before a seaside bucket filled with vodka, I reflected that Steve Evans was suspended from school for drinking a smaller amount. I’m sure he learnt his lesson and wouldn’t be found in these parts. If he’s not holding down a steady job in England, at worst he’ll be running some conservation programme in a poor Muslim country.

Anyway, the alcoholic onslaught (and of course the widely reported stronger drugs are reserved for those who haven’t been so well brought up - incidentally, I’m not familiar with Steve Evans’ record on such substances) was interrupted by my friends receiving reports of break-ins to their rooms, and so they ran back there (note their ability to do so - you wouldn’t do that barefoot).

My room operates a “lights-on only when the key fob is in the slot” mechanism, and, slightly unnerved by the others’ experiences, I spent some time ‘hacking’ the wall fitting - ripping it apart and sticking some safety pins across the circuit board using plasters - thus by-passing the mechanism and giving the impression the room was occupied when in reality I spent the next few hours on the beach. I did go back a few times during the night to check up on it, but less out of fear that my ingenious plan would fail to fool the thieves, and more because of the fire risk - I left it with a few sparks dripping off a blackened safety pin.

If only the Thais were as imaginative: at the Full Moon Party I was struck by how exactly the same it was as every other night on that beach! Only with more people (mainly weirdoes).