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It has long been known that my favourite animal is the elephant, so as a special birthday treat I signed up for a trek into the hills of Northern Thailand with the express aim of riding a wild elephant bareback. The two-day adventure included a spot of white water rafting, in which activity I hoped to save a stranger’s life, as John Prescott did so courageously in 2004.

In a throwback to the 2005 birthday celebrations, held with close family in a Berber village in Morocco, I was delighted that the trip involved an overnight stay in a hill-tribe village. After much questioning as to why a tribe might build a village at the top of a hill, rather than more conveniently at the bottom, I unearthed the truth that these people (immigrants to the nation) are forced for political reasons to remain in the mountains.

Indeed, after strumming “Happy Birthday” on an old guitar, the locals launched into a pro-Thaksin song which has been banned by the current military government since last year’s coup. I pledged my support for their freedom, but felt unable to commit British troops to their ends without a parliamentary vote, even if it was my birthday. After all, my efforts that day had fallen short of even our deputy prime minister (no lives saved, although happily none was lost). Please do not ‘dob me in’ to the junta while I am still in the country.